Margaret

Dear my public-diary:

Last August when school started, I set my phone alarm to the ungodly hour of 5:30am as I am not a morning person and need to be yanked out of REM well before being gently coaxed from my bed. This gave me enough time to have a cup of coffee before helping the banshees get ready for school and make the bus each morning. A few months ago we were running late and I decided to drive the girls to school instead of frantically panicking trying to run out in the dark, forgetting things that get forgotten under such circumstances and setting an all around wrong mood in which to start the day. Since the school is just five minutes away, we didn’t need to leave until 7:30am, which gave us about 40 extra minutes in the morning and lowered the stress level for the entire lot of us. Of course, from that day forward I have been driving the kids to school and enjoying the less stressful mornings and sleeping just a little longer than I was before.

Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, I have been unable to change the alarm on my phone, which I have since named Margaret (the alarm, not the phone – who would name a phone?). Margaret was set on a ring/vibrate mode that was utterly obnoxious and served the purpose of waking me with a jolt of fear, lasting just long enough to find the STOP button and for Husband to grunt and sigh many times before his alarm was set to go off 30 minutes later at 6am (this is the time that we should be waking up now that we are car-riders). Each day we go through this shocking awakening at 5:30, me feeling around desperately for my phone then trying to focus my eyes enough to turn Margaret off and finally, both Husband and me yanking the blankets back up over our heads to capture a few more precious moments of sleep.

This is a good time for me to mention that Husband despises Margaret. In fact, he hates her so much he refuses to acknowledge her by name. Can you imagine?

At this point, you must be wondering (like Husband) why I have not made a greater effort to silence Margaret, or change her settings to wake me at a later time, to just find my phone manual and look up the steps necessary to do the job. The truth is that I feel that Margaret has become a part of our lives. I could never just silence her completely without feeling that something is missing - and who am I to change her? Would it even still be Margaret? I just don’t think I can do that to her. I know I know it is a real pain in the head to be punched out of a sweet dream by her incessant screeching-buzzing, or worse, to hear such noises inside my dreams and be shaken awake by Husband telling me to kill that racket. But Margaret has made a place in this world. She knows just who she is and what she is here for. That’s more than most can say and I respect that about her. Margaret is so stable and so reliable with her Monday through Friday duties – she even wakes us when my phone is powered off, if you can believe that. I admit I am a little inspired by Margaret. She sets a good example for me in her little energizer-bunny-sort of way. I want that.

Another sweet thing about Margaret is that she never asks for anything in return. Her love is unconditional and consistent. Something we could all take a lesson in from time to time. Come to mention it, I’d bet that Margaret would be willing to teach others how it’s done. Of course you’d have to sleep on the floor at the foot of my bed, next to Pup-pup in order to get a good view of Margaret’s magic. If you’re awake to see her go off, you can almost see the pride in which she does her job. The brightness of her flashing screen and the intensity with which she pulsates nearly moves her off of the nightstand. It is a truly magnificent talent.

So now you must understand my reasons for leaving Margaret just as she is; my little dancing, singing, slap-in-my-morning-face. How rarely we encounter such amazing characters in life. I am blessed.

O, Margaret, I love you! Don’t ever change!