My ADHD Blog #1 Introduction

Tuesday November 14, 2011

Finally medicated, I’ve decided to write about my daily life with ADHD, both past and present. I’ve always suspected that I have ADHD, but have, for the most part been able to deal with it in different ways. My ADD worsens when I am under stress, or sometimes even when I am nervous or excited. In hindsight, I can see where/when my ADHD has caused me to fail and other times when it has benefited me. Yes, you read that right; benefited.

For the last few years I’ve been under a great deal of stress and my ADD has caused my life to become unmanageable. Slowly, but surely, I am finding balance and learning how to deal with this (and other things in my life) in a healthy way.
I am not a clinician, or any kind of medical professional, just a woman trying to live with ADHD.

*dramatic, harmonized chime here*

These are my stories.

Last year my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD; predominately inattentive, though she has her hyperactive moments too. Being so young, her hyperactive moments tend to manifest almost as tics. When she would get excited too quickly, she would let out a loud scream and suddenly be afraid, as she also has sensitivity to loud noises even her own. She had trouble in school in just about every subject and was forgetful, fidgety and talkative in class.

My husband and I began our own research on the internet and came to the conclusion it was time to get a professional opinion. Our pediatrician (who is our champion) diagnosed her with ADHD; predominately inattentive, started her on medication and increased the dosage gradually. We saw the difference in her behaviors soon after and then, a month after starting medication, she moved three reading levels up at school. Since then, it’s difficult to pull her away from her books.

Once my daughter was diagnosed, I knew I wanted to be tested as well. Having some other health issues, my doctor was careful and slow to add a new medication to my regime, though there was no doubt about my diagnosis. Being new on the medication, the only change I’ve noticed so far is feeling less overwhelmed and more motivated to start on projects I couldn’t deal with before.

I continue to be excited about my new journey, but I will admit that I worry I might miss the fun parts of my ADHD. I suppose that this is a common worry with any behavioral disorder; the fear of medication changing the good things. Doctors say no, but I think it’s a valid concern. It’s hard to know where one’s creativity and talents stem from, where the roots took hold. For me, those answers continue to unfold.

I think that much of my sense of humor came from rapid cognitive dissonance, which rather than remain uncomfortable, I chose to play with the conflict in my own mind. This was very entertaining to me and often to people around me. Laughter is a good drug.

In the nineties, I wrote stream of consciousness type journals every day and used my writing to create a stand-up comedy act. I did alright with it – I wasn’t horrible at it. I had the opportunity to open for a few… eh, let’s call them “semi-celebrities”. I don’t know if anything might have come of my stand-up had I stuck with it. At the time, I was waiting tables during the day and serving cocktails in the evenings and doing comedy on my nights off. I was getting tired of hanging out in clubs every night between work and comedy. Eventually, I was invited to take my comedy on the road for my first paying gigs. I was so excited until I learned the travel conditions. I would be traveling by car with three other comedians (all men) and would also have to share hotel rooms with them. They were nice guys, but I decided I had come to the end of my comedy days. I’m glad I did it while it lasted. It was great fun and extremely therapeutic for my ADHD.

Another great benefit of my ADHD was my ability to throw myself into my work. When I became bored at work, I would come up with ideas about how to streamline production, or create projects for myself to go above and beyond the call of duty. I was a master multi-tasker and problem solver and I could easily lose myself in research projects (the down side was that I sometimes rubbed people the wrong way and I was very stubborn about doing things my way and I had a hard time compromising). I was and still am very good at brainstorming, especially when working with someone who can guide the application of ideas into concrete realities.

So now I am taking medication and will from time to time blog about my progress here. I will also tell stories of my life with ADHD before and after medication. Strangely, I am not sure why I've decided to share this particular part of my life publicly. I'm generally a private person and I cannot imagine sharing physical and emotional details of my life here, or details of my spiritual life. For some reason, I feel the need to share on this topic.

I have ADHD, so you can expect that I might jump around from situation to situation, subject to subject, perhaps never having any concern for chronological order, or even continuity. If you are interested enough to read about someone with ADHD, well that will be the case always and sometimes and occasionally never. Thanks for being here.